It's In The Job Description
by TunaForDesert
Summary: "Ice-cream. A whole bucket of it. And I want lame cupcake. And potato chips. Yes, potato chips are the thing. Can I get beer too?" "You're underage." Hanamiya snorted. "Vanilla or yam?" Because really, he's a boyfriend of a currently emotionally demented boy. It's totally cool to be a perfect gentleman. Sequel of The Standard.


Hanamiya knew it was his slightly-secretly demented boyfriend before he even looked at the caller ID. He'd been waiting for the call since seven in the morning. His team thought he had a fight with his boyfriend (which happens like what, three times a week?) and teased him endlessly about being whipped.

The call came in a little pass six, an hour away before practice ended. He whipped out his phone and answered with a flat, "Are you alright?" His team made suggestive eyebrows arch from the court. Hanamiya gave them the finger.

"_I know you still have practice but if I can skip school __**and**__ practice on the same day then I cannot for the life of me see why you can't end it early. No, I am not okay. My conscience has been utterly betrayed. Can you make it?"_

Hanamiya looked at the watch on the other side of the clock and answered, "Give me half an hour. Anything else you need?"

"_Ice-cream. A whole bucket of it. And I want lame cupcake. And potato chips. Yes, potato chips are the thing. Can I get beer too?"_

"You're underage." Hanamiya snorted. "Vanilla or yam?" Because really, he's a boyfriend of a currently emotionally demented boy. It's totally cool to be a perfect gentleman.

"_Vanilla. And I want The Shake too." _Because Hanamiya knew exactly what shake his boyfriend wanted. So they call it The Shake. With capital letters.

"Alright. I'll come running right now. Stay where you are and do not attempt to play the movie before I get there. It's my duty to keep you stable during the whole thing."

"_Okay."_ His boyfriend's voice grew small. Then, _"Have I ever tell you how unconditionally attracted I am to you?"_

"You would say that to every boy who deals with you during your post-reading tears party." Hanamiya saw his team keeling over with their laughter. He hoped they'd die from lack of air.

"See you." He hung up.

"Oh God," Hara gasped between his laugh. "Can you imagine him with a girlfriend and doing that every month?"

"It's a miracle he got a boyfriend instead. My brain can't handle our captain acting concerned all the time," Kazuya said.

"Fuck all of you." Hanamiya ignored Kazuya's 'No thanks' and pocketed his phone. "I'm ending this for today. I have a boyfriend to tend to. Be late tomorrow and there'll be consequences."

"You don't have to worry about being late cuz you're not getting any tonight anyway," Seto said flatly.

Hanamiya sighed. "Once again, fuck all of you."

Two convenience stores and one Majiba franchise later, Hanamiya had a plastic bag and a big cup of vanilla shake in hand and was currently heading towards his boyfriend's apartment. The place was nothing grand, but he'd got the whole place all to himself so Hanamiya spent his weekends cuddling up to his boyfriend after some sexy time.

He found the key under the mat (he'd been trying to tell his boyfriend that it's a bad idea because sooner or later they'd be murdered in their sleep if he kept this up) and let himself in. The place was dark, as expected. Hanamiya shrugged off his jacket and hung it by the door. He slipped off his loafers before heading towards the first room in the place.

Had it been any other day than the eighth of October, he would have found the sight of Kuroko Tetsuya sitting on his bed, covered in blanket that his face was barely visible, and eyes red with nose running to be very cute. Now was not that time though. This was a very delicate situation.

"Hey," he greeted and sat down on the bed. He gathered the fluffy ball of emotional frustration, putting his hand on Kuroko's back and rubbing it. "I got your ice-cream, chips and cupcake. I hope this shake will make up for the loss of beer." He offered him the cup.

Kuroko sniffled some more before releasing himself from the cocoon and snatched the cup from Hanamiya's hand. He'd stopped trying to understand how his boyfriend's body worked. Cold drink in the winter was not exactly healthy. But who was he to judge? All he got for his effort would be cold shoulders and blue balls.

Hanamiya slipped from the bed to play 5 Centimeters Per Second, because to be honest his boyfriend enjoyed some easy, non-breaking-but-still-heart-wrenching love drama. (He's still trying to recover from The Fault in Our Stars.) Kuroko was almost halfway into finishing his first pint of ice-cream (no bucket) when he rejoined him in the bed. He saw Blood of Olympus on the nightstand and tried not to snort.

They were on the part where Takaki told the audience of the teasing he and Akari got from their classmates when Kuroko finally begun his post-reading rant.

"Have you ever felt so utterly betrayed? I've waited for the final book for a whole year and all I got is a cliffhanger." Kuroko stabbed his ice-cream viciously.

Hanamiya wrapped his hands around Kuroko and lowered himself to the bed, bringing Kuroko down to lean side by side against the heading. The night was just beginning. He wanted to get as comfortable as possible. Dinner would have to wait. He hoped his boyfriend had enough brain-cell to keep himself fed in the afternoon at least. Hanamiya had every reason to think so. He was still wearing his pajamas.

"I never really got into books as much as you do, but yeah, it's plain torture."

The younger boy sighed with the plastic spoon in his mouth. "I don't get it. Is he a skilled writer and left it like that for pure literature reason, or he's just a sadistic old man who gets off by hearing his fans screaming bloody murder, or he's just plain retarded?"

"Language," Hanamiya said offhandedly. "Not every trilogy is like Harry Potter, you know."

Kuroko snorted uncharacteristically. The sugar rush of both vanilla shake and vanilla ice-cream was getting to him faster. "If everyone's like Queen J, the whole world would be a better place."

"Uncle Rick's a troll. You know that." He had to remind his boyfriend of that fact about two times a week.

"_Still_," Kuroko sighed. "How could he do that? And he gave Jason glasses! _How_ dare _he_!" Kuroko stabbed his pint more viciously.

"I admit it's a turn-off." Rule number one when dating a boy like Kuroko Tetsuya: Agree with his words when he's ranting.

"It's a blasphemy!" Kuroko was on the roll now. "Everything I've ever dreamed of Jason is ruined by those glasses! _Glasses_!" He repeated it like the word did a personal offense to him. And truthfully, Hanamiya thought it did.

"What do you have against glasses? You just insulted the whole megane-community."

"Glasses are the reason I'm wearing contact lens, Hanamiya Makoto. Do I have to repeat that fourth-grade incident because I am really not in the mood right now."

"You're wearing contact lens? And what do you mean, repeat? You never told me that!"

"The whole book's like a massive cliffhanger." Kuroko ignored his affronted glare. "I want to know what Zeus meant. I want to see Leo-which by the way, proves how much of a d*** Rick is, and I want to read more reasons to hate Will Solace."

"Oh please."

"Oh yes. How dare that unimportant son of Apollo gets in the way of Percico!" Kuroko threw his empty and abused pint into the garbage can beside his bed before grabbing a packet of chips. "Percico is like, for life! Do you understand how in love he is with Percy? I believe Rick was being hasty when he wrote Nico gave up on Percy. I can't."

Hanamiya had the strongest urge to say, _Dude, Jasico is the shit_. But he kept his mouth shut and nodded. Kuroko despised Jasico as much as he despised Percabeth. And Valdangelo. And Thalico.

"I want to hug Nico and tell him it's okay. Reyna is an angel," Kuroko said with a mouthful of chips. "I think I'm in love with coach Hedge. Do you think Chuck will get married to Grover and Juniper's kid? I'd totally want to see that."

"Or to Tyson and Ella's kid. However many eyes and feathers the poor kid will get." Hanamiya snorted and stole chips from Kuroko.

Kuroko's eyes were transfixed to the screen. "Don't be mean. Tyson's the biggest sweetheart. And Ella's a genius. I think all Poseidon's kids have things for the brainy ones."

"Your ability to say the last sentence without disgust amazed me."

"You're an ass."

"If I remember correctly, it was someone's ass I did two nights ago."

Kuroko turned bright red and tried to smother him with a pillow. Really, Hanamiya's just a sucker for his boyfriend's blushing face. His team was not exaggerating when they say he was whipped. He was just better at hiding it.

They fought for the top position for a while. In the end, Hanamiya was on top of a heavily panting Kuroko, much like how he did two nights ago. Takaki's voice disappeared in the background. Hanamiya saw the chips packet on the floor, empty. Kuroko's heavy breathing pulled his attention to his boyfriend again.

"You are blunt and rude and I think I like it too much."

Hanamiya leaned in, two centimeters away from touching Kuroko's lips with his own. "You can't live without me. Admit it."

"Our relationship is not an epic love story, so I think I can live by myself perfectly well." Kuroko muttered.

"But you made my infinity much larger. And it will continue to grow with every second I spend with you."

Kuroko groaned softly. He always did whenever Hanamiya did something stupid and then trying to soothe him back with words that Kuroko loved a little too much.

"Hanamiya Makoto, you will stop talking this instance and kiss me."

"No, I like you this way, begging and flustered." He said, smirking.

Kuroko sighed. Then… "Makoto…"

Aw shuck, it's not like his ego could be bruised much harder.

He swooped down, starting with a nibble on his lower lip. Kuroko squirmed impatiently and caught his lips in a demanding kiss. Hanamiya pressed himself down to Kuroko, battling the tongue that tried to invade his mouth. Soon, his tongue was inside Kuroko's mouth instead. He found the remote control and turned the television off without taking his attention away from the boy underneath him. Kuroko groaned much louder and Hanamiya just lost himself a little more in the sensation.

It was always such a fierce battle. Kuroko was as good as he was in reciting quotes from books. Hanamiya found the idea his innocent-looking boyfriend to be perfectly experienced in sexual activity to be a total turn on. That meant Kuroko knew what he was doing and it always left him satisfied in the end.

It could have gone on much longer, but human lungs were not made for nothing and even though theirs didn't suck as much as Hazel's did, Hanamiya still found himself to be complaining at the end. He quickly latched his mouth to Kuroko's neck, kissing the collarbone delicately as his boyfriend sighed in pleasure. Kuroko always liked it when Hanamiya peppered his neck with kisses.

"I hate Octavian."

Pause. Rewind. Replay.

"What?" Hanamiya climbed up again, with much curiosity and a little bit hurt. He knew Kuroko saw him as a copy of Octavian, so hearing him saying hating the blond hurt his ego a bit.

"He's a useless character that did nothing but made everything much harder. All the love I hold for him vanish when his underlings stopped respecting him." Kuroko sighed dramatically. He wounded his arms around Hanamiya's neck. The blue eyes looked into his grey ones flatly.

"I want dinner." He was pouting. Kuroko Tetsuya was pouting. Hanamiya melted a little from the inside before he kissed the small nose and getting up. Kuroko sat up with him.

"Take a shower first. I'll fix us something. Fried rice, maybe?"

"With chicken!"

"Alright, with chicken. Damn, you're cute."

"It's my best trade. Have I ever tell you how utterly attractive you look in apron? Men that cook are totally hot."

"Kuroko Tetsuya, I will pretend I did not just hear you complimenting half the guys we both know in one sentence."

"I love you only."

"Of course, because only this guy understands your rants and obsession. You're lucky I like you."

Kuroko sighed and climbed into his lap. Hanamiya had one thousand and one scenes in his mind of where this could go by the time Kuroko was perfectly settled with his legs around his waist.

"You're the first guy I invited to my apartment," Kuroko said. "You're also the first guy I date that doesn't treat me like I'm a doll. You're the only guy that cooks for me when I am emotionally unstable. You're the only guy that comes running at first call and gets me everything I need when I act like a girl on her period. I think I can live with this every day."

"Isn't it still a little too soon for our together?" Even as he said that, there was something pleasant blooming inside his chest.

Kuroko leaned up and kissed him for some twenty seconds and more. Hanamiya couldn't believe he'd once thought how much he hated this guy. Practically everything he did irritated him and now he knew it was because he was overly conscious of everything Kuroko did. Love was confusing in that way.

Yes, love. Shut up.

"Together?"

Hanamiya leaned in, kissing the pink puffy lips before resting their forehead together. The blue eyes held so many emotions that Hanamiya took minutes to concentrate enough before giving his own promise.

"Together."

* * *

><p>End.<p>

**A/N**: I made it through four subjects. Five more to go. I didn't do very well on Thursday. I hope didn't butcher it up too badly. Goddammit Physics and Chemistry and Additional Math. I literally did not sign up for this shit. The only sub that I chose for myself was ICT. I hate this school.

Kuroko's in his second year and Hanamiya's in his third. If you guys haven't figured it out. And it's eighth because…maybe cuz the difference in timeline. Kuroko cussed because hey, his boyfriend is Hanamiya and he does cuss in the anime when he's frustrated.

My soundtrack for this pair: True Love (Pink!)

* * *

><p>黒子のバスケ © Fujimaki Tadatoshi<p>

Blood of Olympus © Rick Riordan

The Fault in Our Stars © John Green


End file.
